


don't go against the grain, simple and plain

by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Family, Family Issues, Holiday, Holiday Shopping, Isak's home life, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, accidental meet the parents, fight, meet the parents, slight homophobia mention, so many feelings oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9040088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxesofflowers/pseuds/boxesofflowers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eeyoreneedsahug/pseuds/Eeyoreneedsahug
Summary: Isak, Even, and Eva run into Isak's mom while Christmas shopping, and it brings up insecurities about their relationship that they aren't sure they can get past.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Chloë got a happy prompt and Priscilla went hard into angst territory (and Chloë started loading on more angst)
> 
> Title from Life's A Bitch by Nas

They’re walking along, the two boys hands lazily intertwined, Eva wishing she’d brought Chris, Even wishing he hadn’t worn Isak’s (Jonas’s?) snapback, and Isak wishing he’d had the foresight to do his holiday shopping online. Regardless of the cold, Even’s having a decent time, and from what he can tell, Isak’s having an even better one. Suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks, putting a hand on Eva’s shoulder.

“Even.” he looks panicked. “I think, uh, Eva wants to go over there. Across the street. Right, Eva?” Even turns to face him. Eva huffs.

“Uh, yeah.” She clearly doesn’t know what’s going on, but she trusts Isak enough to go along with whatever fucked up plan he’s trying to execute. “Over there.”

“Sure, um-” 

“I’m also very interested. In over there. In going there, I mean. We should go. Right now.” He’s such a terrible liar, Even almost laughs. Instead, he puts a hand on his shoulder and lowers his voice.

“Is everything ok?” Isak gives his best fake confused expression, shrugging.

“I’m good. I’m so good. Everything is great. I’m just really interested in…um...” He looks at the shops on the other side of the street, “The vitamin outlet. And so is Eva. Right Eva?”

“What?” She looks up from her phone, and when she sees Isak’s desperate expression she remembers that they’re lying. “Oh! Yes. Exactly. What he said.” She goes back to texting.

Isak grabs his arm, perhaps in a last ditch attempt to physically drag Even to the other side of the street, but Even stops him with a look. Isak swears. He can’t lie when Even looks at him like that.

“I think I saw my mom. In that store.” He whispers, and Eva pipes up.

“Yo, are we going, or what?” Isak swears, covering his eyes with one hand. He hisses at her to be quiet, and she crosses her arms. “The fuck, man?” Isak mouths something, and a look of realization dawns on her face. “Ok. Yeah. Alright.”

Even looks over at Eva. She looks almost as concerned as Isak. 

“We really should go, Even. I’m serious.” She says grabbing Isak’s hand both in an effort to calm him down and to drag him with her. 

The door to the store opens. 

“Isak!” Immediately, Isak goes completely pale, his hand tightening involuntarily around Eva’s. 

“Mom!” he chokes, forcing a smile on his face. “Hi.”

Even wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but after all Isak had said about his mother, he certainly didn’t envision the woman that stood before them. She was younger than he imagined she’d be, with dirty blonde hair - the streaked darker than her son’s. In a way, he feels connected to her, even without ever having met her. She’s mentally ill, she loves Isak, but she ends up hurting him. Just like Even.

Isak freezes and slowly turns to face her, still clutching Eva’s hand, his knuckles turning white. 

“Why, uh, what brings you here?” Isak asks, and she smiles.

“Who is this?” She asks, gesturing to Eva, “Friend?”

“Yeah. Uh, Eva, this is my mom.” They shake hands.

“How long have you been seeing each other?” Eva bursts out laughing, but Isak just looks like he’s about to pass out. He drops her hand, wiping it on his jeans.

“I’m so glad you got over that thing with the boy. Not bad, or anything, but we know...it was just a phase.” She gives him a sort of knowing smile, and turns to Even. “And this must be Jonas!”

Even quickly debates whether or not to just agree with her - it would make the whole situation a lot easier, but then he sees the look on Isak’s face. He looks so defeated and overcome with despair that he can’t simply stand by. He steps forward.

“I’m actually the...boy.” He holds out his hand, and she looks stunned. She opens her mouth, but closes it without saying a word. She tries again, but ends with a hand over her lips.

“Isak?” She looks at him, and he sighs through his nose, pressing his lips into a tight line.

“Yes?” She gestures to Even, who’s still holding out his waiting hand.  
“This is...Even? Who was suppose to come to the Christmas concert?” Even gives a charming smile.

“Yes ma’am.” She stares at him for a beat, eyebrows furrowed. Finally, she shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yes. It is.” She says, still sounding somewhat shocked, but sincere.

“Uh, mom, it’s been really nice to see you but we have to go.” She is momentarily still before she reaches over to Isak abruptly to stop him from leaving. “No! Stay!” Isak jerks back, almost as if he’s afraid of being burnt. 

“Ms. Valtersen, we, uh, really do need to leave. Maybe you and Isak could join my family for dinner sometime. If you wanted to.” Even says, and reluctantly, she steps back.

“Yes. That sounds lovely.” She fixes her gaze back on Isak, “We’ll talk later, yes?” Isak nods robotically, and she smiles, leaving with a small wave.

As soon as she’s around the corner and out of sight, Isak practically disintegrates, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Christ.” He says, running a hand over his face. Even places a hand on his back, and can feel him shaking slightly from the adrenaline. He’s breathing like he’s about to cry.

Eva wraps him in a hug, and Even backs off, a feeling of awkwardness quickly growing.

“That went better than I thought it would.” Eva’s voice is muffled by Isak’s coat. Even raises his eyebrows. 

“What did you think would happen?” He asks cautiously. As far as encounters go, this seemed fairly standard. Maybe a bit strange toward the end, but that really, at least in Even’s opinion, was Isak’s doing. 

“She’s just...it’s really complicated.” Eva says. “She’s not like you Even. She’s not ok like you.”

“What?” Even feels a weight settle in his chest.

“I told you she’s not right. She’s my mom and I love her but I don’t like her. She’s not good for me.”

“Because of her head.” Even shoves his hands into his pockets.

“This must have been a good day. You haven’t seen how she can get. I…”

“Look, she can be a bad person, that’s fine, I believe you, I just don’t want you to tell me it’s because of her head. Because I-”

“It’s better to believe that it’s because she’s sick and not because she’s a bad person.”

“I’m sick, Isak.” His heart is beating so hard he can hear it rushing in his ears. 

“But you love me.”

“That’s not how it works, Isak.” Isak’s face crumples slightly and he shrugs in on himself. “ I just- I don’t want you thinking that this...this thing, this fucked up illness, is the real me. And the real her. And when we’re kind it’s just a ‘good day.’ That was her, and this is me.”

“It’s different.”

“How? How is it different?” Even doesn’t know why he’s pushing his boyfriend so far. Isak has tears in his eyes.

“Look, I’m not watching this anymore.” Eva says, moving in between them. “This is stupid. Isak’s mom is a genuinely terrible human, and you, Even, are not. Isak is a fragile snowflake and needs to delude himself by shunting the blame onto a ‘mental illness’ that may or may not actually exist. Problem solved.” Isak is glaring at her through his tears and Even looks stunned. Isak angrily wipes his face on the back of his warmly gloved hand. 

“Fuck off.” He says stormily. 

“I just- I can’t have you believe that’s why…” Even shakes his head. “That that’s why people are bad people. Because they’re sick.”

“It’s better than believe that your parents don’t love you, isn’t it?”

“Not right now. Not when your boyfriend who happens to love you very much and who also happens to be bipolar is standing in front of you telling you that he’s not like that. I’m not having a good day, this is me. Right now. This is the real Even telling you he loves you.”

“You don’t understand.” Isak murmurs under his breath. “You have your parents and your sister, you don’t know.”

“That's not fair, Isak.”

“I had to move in with a fucking stranger I met while blackout drunk at a gay bar.” That gives Even pause. 

“Huh?” 

“That’s how Eskild adopted me. I lived in his basement in secret for something like 5 months until Noora left for London.”

“Isak-”

“Don't!” 

“I'm breaking this up, that's it.” Eva says. “it's stupid! It really is! Do you know how idiotic you both sound? Christ, it's a shit show.”

“it's just-” Eva cuts Even off.

“No. Stop.” she shushes isak even before he can speak. “Nope.”

\---

They walk back to Even’s apartment in silence, Eva between them.

Isak follows him inside, and when the door closes he speaks up.

“I...I’d be lying if I said I wasn't afraid.” he whispers, and Even swears he can feel his heart stop beating. “People don't love me. In my experience. That's enough on its own. Then…” he trails off.

“I'm not like her.” 

“I know, it’s…” There's a long pause. “This is already so hard to believe. Then I find out you're sick and you aren't always you and it's too heavy.” another pause. “I love you so, so much. So much. And I know - I know in my brain you're not like her, but sometimes I just get so worried you are that I have trouble sorting my head out.” 

Even is silent for a moment.  
“I can’t promise I won’t ever hurt you.” He says, staring unblinkingly into Isak’s eyes, “But I can promise I won't ever in my right mind. And you’ll always know if I'm not me, I'll tell you if I feel anything coming.” he takes a deep breath, looking away for a moment before turning back to Isak. “It kills me I can't be what you need. This thing...it’s fucked up your entire life, and here I am, telling you I'm different when I-” He stops, and Isak can tell he’s trying not to cry. “I don't know. I don't know if I am.”

“No, Even, it's…” it's hard to argue past this divide, and Isak realizes he’s going to have to swallow his own feelings to spare Even’s. The truth is, he _is_ afraid of Even. Nothing Even says is going to change that, but he’s not about to tell him. He hates when they fight, it makes his heart hurt. He leans in, giving his boyfriend a slow, careful kiss. “I trust you. I love you. You don’t have to worry about all this, Eva’s right, it’s dumb. My mom shouldn’t get to ruin this too.”

“I just...I wish I-”

“Minute by minute? Remember?” Even chokes out a laugh. “It’s not important. None of it’s important except you and me and this minute.”

“This minute.”

“Yeah."

That minute they hold each other, and the next Isak walks down the three flights from Even's apartment. The next, he cries.

**Author's Note:**

> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!


End file.
